I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
worst night to have a conscience
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
