I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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