My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
