just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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