Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
