I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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