I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
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Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
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my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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