Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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