Will you blow on my dice?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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