So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
