At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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