i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
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This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
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Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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