I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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