Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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