sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
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i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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