you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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