I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize