STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
