know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
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