I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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