i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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