I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
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