my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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