She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
