I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
