sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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