my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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