there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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