Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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