There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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