i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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