Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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