I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
