you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
