we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Oh god it's open bar.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
