You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
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