And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.