Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"