I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
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I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
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I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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