she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.