I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Don't tell me you're on acid again