Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.