Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.

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(305): I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it. http://tfl.nu/u417

Replies (5) Good night (1740) Bad night (751)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers

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(908): It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers http://tfl.nu/97ey

Replies (15) Good night (24781) Bad night (1044)
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(416): View more from Ontario

dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross

(647): View more from Ontario

well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun

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(416): dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross (647): well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun http://tfl.nu/i4zj

Replies (12) Good night (842) Bad night (3571)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.

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(908): a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester. http://tfl.nu/e11n

Replies (52) Good night (4070) Bad night (603)
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(813): View more from Florida

He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL

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(813): He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL http://tfl.nu/4831

Replies (56) Good night (1557) Bad night (6058)
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(703): View more from Virginia

so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.

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(703): so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine. http://tfl.nu/s4y5

Replies (25) Good night (10269) Bad night (1483)
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(585): View more from New York

I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..

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(585): I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking.. http://tfl.nu/q39t

Replies (10) Good night (3472) Bad night (835)
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(404): View more from Georgia

YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!

(678): View more from Georgia

correction: escorted out

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(404): YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?! (678): correction: escorted out http://tfl.nu/gkul

Replies (23) Good night (5229) Bad night (974)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.

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(814): well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there. http://tfl.nu/ct1u

Replies (4) Good night (818) Bad night (2146)
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(520): View more from Arizona

Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.

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(520): Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell. http://tfl.nu/mi1d

Replies (11) Good night (1933) Bad night (826)
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(850): View more from Florida

He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.

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(850): He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him. http://tfl.nu/bban

Replies (6) Good night (881) Bad night (363)
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(517): View more from Michigan

It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.

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(517): It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals. http://tfl.nu/8hcd

Replies (0) Good night (658) Bad night (296)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message

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(203): I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message http://tfl.nu/s744

Replies (0) Good night (571) Bad night (301)
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(347): View more from New York

Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed

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(347): Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed http://tfl.nu/rghw

Replies (2) Good night (608) Bad night (255)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.

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(+44): He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up. http://tfl.nu/t0cr

Replies (1) Good night (1652) Bad night (272)

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