All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
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I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
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they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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