Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood http://tfl.nu/dhuu
  Replies (113) Good night (1200) Bad night (6374)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did. http://tfl.nu/i39w
  Replies (13) Good night (3106) Bad night (1430)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window http://tfl.nu/ly7e
  Replies (13) Good night (1471) Bad night (4266)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook http://tfl.nu/zrse
  Replies (9) Good night (3521) Bad night (1855)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with. http://tfl.nu/hnbu
  Replies (4) Good night (1215) Bad night (2643)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  he made a bald eagle out of coke lines

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): he made a bald eagle out of coke lines http://tfl.nu/gy34
  Replies (5) Good night (2390) Bad night (1104)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic? http://tfl.nu/pmld
  Replies (15) Good night (1449) Bad night (2836)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle. http://tfl.nu/5dkw
  Replies (11) Good night (1820) Bad night (1842)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable. http://tfl.nu/xt8c
  Replies (1) Good night (1091) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead http://tfl.nu/k2d6
  Replies (5) Good night (827) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent. http://tfl.nu/e5i7
  Replies (2) Good night (1009) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day. http://tfl.nu/bkmj
  Replies (2) Good night (991) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon http://tfl.nu/93lu
  Replies (2) Good night (673) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card. http://tfl.nu/az1q
  Replies (0) Good night (319) Bad night (197)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila http://tfl.nu/ph2e
  Replies (0) Good night (412) Bad night (131)

Randomize