my sisters under your porch take her home
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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