Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
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