Midget sex pt 2 tonight
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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