I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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