did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Panties = found
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
