but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
that's an acceptable place to lick
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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