What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
