Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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