She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
