i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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