he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
