i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
