just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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