Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
