You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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