she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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