I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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