Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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