so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
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he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
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There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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