i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
