she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
