I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
