How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
