Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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