let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
